Life is not a story: why narrative thinking holds you back
51 points
8 hours ago
| 8 comments
| psyche.co
| HN
keiferski
7 hours ago
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I don’t find their argument that you can “reject having a narrative” very convincing. Human beings exist embedded in society, and to handwave that away in favor of “perspectives” just results in you adopting a different narrative, the “I reject narratives” one. Which is ultimately why existentialism never really went anywhere.

Instead I think the problem is actually the exact opposite: people don’t embrace stories enough. Modernity is accurately described as a place without any coherent sort of arch-story for society and local-story for individuals and places. To use the concept by Deleuze, everything has been too “deterritorialized.” We’d all probably be happier with a solid narrative underlying our senses of self and society.

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corimaith
7 hours ago
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Humans desire narratives to understand the world, but the world is too complex to be captured into reality.

Those arch-theories already exist in the theories like Dialectical Materialism, or worse, Fascism, and with terrible consequences once they confronted reality.

The circumstantial perspective of (Liberal Western) Modernism & Postmodernism may have it's flaws, but it has offered more practical results in policymaking than not.

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keiferski
7 hours ago
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I’d describe those things (along with most traditional worldviews) as failed attempts to encapsulate reality into an over simplified story. But just because they failed and had bad consequences doesn’t mean that the attempt itself is misguided or impossible. Otherwise, the alternative seems to be an endlessly growing malaise, which isn’t much of a solution either.

In fact, I think the lack of such an attempt to make a coherent story is what draws people to the over simplified ones in the first place.

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MichaelZuo
6 hours ago
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How do you know they weren’t ‘attempts to make a coherent story’ that turned destructive?
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keiferski
6 hours ago
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I don’t, but what is your alternative suggestion? What important things don’t also have the potential to end badly?

Unless your position is a kind of Daoist quietism, I’m not sure what you are suggesting instead.

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MichaelZuo
6 hours ago
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Why do you believe such alternative suggestions exist?

Maybe there aren’t any such that are risk free. So you have to evaluate both the potential upsides and downsides to see if it’s a net positive and worthwhile risk to take.

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keiferski
6 hours ago
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Then I'm really not sure what exactly you are arguing for or against. The act of making a story that attempts to give meaning to human life and society? How would you evaluate that for potential upsides and downsides, and what are you comparing it against?
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lupire
6 hours ago
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Why is "story", which is known to be an accurate model, the preferred model? Why not non-linear dynamical system, epigram, clerihew, or haiku?
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keiferski
6 hours ago
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Probably because most of those don't line up with how humans experience the world. Storytelling has a long history in the human experience, while haiku or epigrams aren't really the sort of thing one can "wrap" a life around.
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nvegater
5 hours ago
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Humans experience the world as a story, but that is not necessarily the most human way to wrap a life around as you are implying. In some cases there are more powerful frameworks. For example Hitler is wrapped (by most of the world at least) around the damage and pain he caused not around his story. Stories are mostly fine, but thinking that we should strive for that to being the main perspective is limiting.
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piva00
3 hours ago
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> For example Hitler is wrapped (by most of the world at least) around the damage and pain he caused not around his story.

Isn't this exactly part of Hitler's story though? I think I'm misunderstanding what your concept of "story" means.

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MichaelZuo
5 hours ago
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I never said anyone had good prospects to complete such an evaluation in a single lifetime… in fact it’s very unlikely to happen.

But without that it’s hard to see how such proposals have any merit at all, considering the historical track record.

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watwut
6 hours ago
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Both communism and nazism provided simplified narrative stories.
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keiferski
6 hours ago
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Yes, that's why I called them "failed attempts to encapsulate reality into an over simplified story."
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professor_x
3 hours ago
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This sounds like a non true scotsman. If large societies buying into a story doesn’t qualify it as a success, what does? M
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keiferski
2 hours ago
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Why would that be the qualification for success? I didn’t write that “everyone believing it” was the marker of success, so I don’t know why that would be relevant.

In another comment thread, I wrote that a story is needed which combines accurate scientific information with a human purpose in the world. Those examples quite obviously didn’t have scientific views of the world.

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vlz
6 hours ago
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The author answers the inability to escape all narratives with the ability to constantly change perspectives. From the article:

> We might never fully escape the narratives that surround us, but we can learn to change the perspectives behind them. And so, we are never bound by stories, only by our ability to understand how our beliefs and values shape the way we perceive and engage with the world. We don’t need better narratives; we need to expand and refine our perspectives.

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mr_toad
2 hours ago
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> To use the concept by Deleuze, everything has been too “deterritorialized.” We’d all probably be happier with a solid narrative underlying our senses of self and society.

That’s a narrative in and of itself. The Opium of the masses.

And judging by the length of the comment thread, it’s really difficult to change someone’s mind once they have settled on a narrative, like trying to kick a habit.

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hshshshshsh
7 hours ago
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> We’d all probably be happier with a solid narrative underlying our senses of self and society.

Sure. You would also be much happier taking drugs all day.

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aaplok
5 hours ago
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> just results in you adopting a different narrative, the “I reject narratives” one.

This is like saying that atheism is just another religion because it's the belief in nothing. In a a hairsplitting way it may arguably be true but atheism does not provide a consistent(-ish) narrative about the world like religions do and therefore is fundamentally different.

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keiferski
5 hours ago
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In the typical Western sense of the word Atheism (that is, not just as a label defining the lack of belief, but the specific instance of ideas/people) is not another "religion," but it's absolutely another "belief system" that often comes with the same set of beliefs about various things.

It's largely an intellectual distinction, because in practice everyone still acts and exists in the world. Identity itself is probably impossible without having some sort of story about who you are.

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orwin
3 hours ago
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To be clear, Atheists have different belief systems. They all have in common that they believe in one less god than monotheists, and a handfull less gods than polytheists (that, they share with monotheists), but overall you can have different belief systems that do not involve the existence of one (or multiple) god(s).

I know someone who does not believe in gods because he think aliens are playing with us (fake flags etc. Basically the Stargate mythos, except he never saw the show). Less anecdotal, Chalmers is definitely Atheist, but i sure don't have his belief system, and i'm sure no functionalist does.

Also, in general, philosophy of mind is imho the best way to test you belief systems. Or maybe it's the philosophy field i'm the most comfortable in and thus the one where i pushed my beliefs the furthest :/

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keiferski
2 hours ago
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I don’t really want to repeat what I already wrote, but just to sum this up again: yes, the mere label of atheist doesn’t imply a specific belief system. But in actual practice, in the real world and not merely in definitions, it tends to indicate certain groupings of beliefs.

In other words, the definitional concept of atheist doesn’t imply a specific belief set (except in the choice of using such a word to define oneself), but the sociological definition definitely does. If we looked at various communities calling themselves atheists, they certainly have beliefs in common.

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madaxe_again
7 hours ago
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You touch on something interesting there - a lack of a solid, consistent narrative, such as the Cold War, leaves a vacuum into which incoherent and disparate tales grow, as people seek a new bulk narrative to explain their world. Instead of a largely coherent narrative across societies, one ends up with numerous, usually conflicting, narratives.

Maybe we just need to accept that our narrative is more James Joyce and Marcel Proust than it is Michael Crichton.

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keiferski
7 hours ago
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I actually think that it's much deeper of a problem than the lack of a geopolitical situation like the Cold War, and instead goes all the way back to Copernicus and Darwin. While these discoveries (that humans aren't the center of the universe and weren't created in a supreme being's image, but are evolved from animals) were good from a scientific truth perspective, I think they had a negative malaise effect on human psychology – if only because the previous narratives were thrown out without a sufficiently meaningful one to replace it. And so yeah, you just get a variety of localized, incoherent narratives arising in this vacuum of meaning.

The answer that is really needed IMO is a way of squaring contemporary scientific knowledge with a story that still centers humanity in the universe and offers a better worldview than "you're a primate lost in space."

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psychoslave
6 hours ago
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You can find sarcastic discourses about whoever think anthropocentric is a sane point of view that go back as far as we have any philosophical account. Take Xenophane’s Satire for example

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenophanes#Satires

Copernicus and Darwin didn’t change much things on that side.

I wholly disagree with your later point though. Knowing that we are only primate lost in space, that civilizations and even our whole species could totally disappear tomorrow without any deity to help, save, rescue, blame or give congrats is actually a far more appealing scenario in term of being challenged to excel. Compare that with "you are full first class member of that special species that the most perfect imaginable being ever created and whatever you do you’ll be granted salvation and experiment an eternal existence in paradise".

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keiferski
6 hours ago
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"you are full first class member of that special species that the most perfect imaginable being ever created and whatever you do you’ll be granted salvation and experiment an eternal existence in paradise".

That's really not an accurate description of the role religion has played in human psychology, and is only accurate for a very specific subset of beliefs in a specific time and place.

My argument was more that humans thought of themselves as inhabiting a world designed for them, but then learned that this was (likely) not true, and that for many people this is a pessimistic, nihilistic conclusion.

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RandomLensman
6 hours ago
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Not all religions/belief systems have/had the world (just) designed for humans. People can "cope" with other views.
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keiferski
6 hours ago
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Definitely true, but:

- I'm talking primarily about the Western world and its legacy of Christianity. The situation is different in India, China, etc.

- Even then, in practice, most successful religions tend to have a human-like personal figure in an important place, even if the religion itself is technically non-personal.

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soco
4 hours ago
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If the point is about "humanity" and how the world cannot have non-human goals, then rejecting the inconvenient religions (oriental, animistic, whatever) is definitely not a convincing argument. Those are just as humans, and don't explain the world in the convenient western way. So yes, we can very well live in a world not designed for humans.
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keiferski
2 hours ago
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The point is about Western society and its progression, not “humans” in general. So yes, one route may to be create a belief system more similar to animist or other religions. But that is itself a tall order.

A lot of this has to do with the Enlightenment project and disenchantment so it’s already largely focused on the Western world to begin with. Other places have less a history with this.

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1propionyl
6 hours ago
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> a story that still centers humanity in the universe and offers a better worldview than "you're a primate lost in space."

The fact of being a self-aware meta-cognitive primate lost in space isn't enough of a miracle to justify feeling centered in the universe?

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keiferski
6 hours ago
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It might be, but I don't think culture at large finds this story very inspirational.
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hshshshshsh
3 hours ago
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Culture is the problem. Remove the dead beliefs. Replace it with something alive. Live from awareness.
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watwut
7 hours ago
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This is how autocracies are appealing, initially. You replace reality by one narrative and it all feels good, at least if you are among those favored by the choose narrative.
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Barrin92
5 hours ago
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>and to handwave that away in favor of “perspectives” just results in you adopting a different narrative

The point isn't to hand-wave anything. Freeing yourself from narratives is a lot of work. The person who probably took this idea most seriously was Stirner, often pointing out that people who leave religious faith just sacralize human nature. ("leaving Man with a capital M intact"), making the oppression even worse.

To be free when rejecting narrative is also to be on the lookout to not chase freedom in a naive way, but it is an achievable process, and it is exactly that. You're obviously never done if you take the idea seriously.

But it is probably the most single liberating thing a human being can do. Personally speaking I come from a blue collar household, I had drilled into me that I must learn a vocation. I didn't, I went to uni and got a CS degree because I loved computers. Some choice as simple as this many people don't make because of how strong the narrative is that their parents tell them about who they are supposed to be. And there's millions of decisions like this. A lot of people think they must buy a house in the suburbs, just because everyone else says so. They actually despair if they don't. The extent to which people imitate desires of others in societies that are supposed to be free is incredible.

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Dalewyn
5 hours ago
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>We’d all probably be happier with a solid narrative underlying our senses of self and society.

Religion, at its most fundamental core, is about providing a set of guidelines and contexts with which to make sense of life and the world around us so we can spend less time bickering and worrying about things that we ultimately can't do anything about.

I feel the mad rush to reject and remove religion from society in the 20th century onwards has caused significant damage that we should address. It's not like religion is gone either, we've simply found impromptu replacements that are inferior and repeat a lot of problems religion dealt with already (eg: politics, "science", fanboyism, etc.).

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wruza
6 hours ago
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It may not hold you back that much.

It’s always confusing to read an article where the way your mind works is seen as an error. It must work somehow. You cannot operate without simple algorithms or more complex “narratives”.

If you ever moved you know the feeling of a new apartment when you have no automatic habits yet. You have to decide everything - how to hold your keys, where is a light switch, which side is too sunny and requires blinds, does elevator work or is it just slow. But then you adapt cause your mind automates the hell out of it. Left hand, further on the right, the one with the table, it’s not that slow (it is).

If you ever learned something new, you know the feeling and you know how much you want an overview before digging deep. To make sense of it, to structure it anyhow, just that much. Otherwise it stays untackable and overwhelming.

A waiter in the article is a template/overview that you start with. It’s only a problem if you’re “a little autistic” and stick to it despite receiving negative feedback. But then narratives aren’t your primary problem.

If your every thought and action started afresh, you’d be incapable. Otoh detecting that an algorithm is messing with your life is a useful skill. I think that the article could drop the (probably click/read-bait) idea of “narrative bad” and instead simply point out that this phenomenon exists and can be analyzed for overuse.

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justanotherjoe
7 hours ago
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I find Robin Hanson's interpretation resonates more (on lex podcast). According to him, the executive brain (which is a huge chunk of consciousness) acts more like a press secretary than a dictator. It creates a narrative to justify our actions to others. So making a narrative is THE JOB of the consciousness.

Think of life as one long trial. The narrative you weave is not for your benefit, really. It's for the Tribe: the judges and the jurys. So trying to weave an esoteric or arcane narrative won't work, and you know it wont, if you know others won't buy it or understand it. You need a narrative that others, or at least a subset of others that represents authority, would be able to buy. You don't really have a choice in it. It's just how we are built. And why would you want to go against it really.

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mr_toad
1 hour ago
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Yes, but that’ a narrative of our internal mind.

The article is talking about the narratives we construct of the external world.

The two may not be entirely unrelated; our facility for constructing an narrative of the external world might have led to us constructing a narrative of our internal world.

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orwin
2 hours ago
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> It creates a narrative to justify our actions to others

I would disagree on that point.

I believe that you create that narrative for yourself, to create an illusion of consciousness. More than that, an illusion of consciousness through time. That's why memories are so easily modified/created by outsiders. That how placebo/nocebo effect works. That's why you create fake memories from a photography, or why you sometimes tries to justify reactions post hoc.

This is also just a theory (inspired by Keith Frankish).

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082349872349872
5 hours ago
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Consider Dolphus Raymond in To Kill a Mockingbird. He weaves one narrative for his birth Tribe, but when Scout looks on the other side of the fabric, there's a plot twist for himself and his adopted Tribe.

INCONCINNVM SED LIBERVM

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verisimi
5 hours ago
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> Think of life as one long trial. The narrative you weave is not for your benefit, really.

I like the trial metaphor, but disagree about who it is for. It has to be for yourself. How you explain life, your actions, etc is only for you - it is an end in itself - and you have to be happy about it.

Alternatively, you can consider the idea that once you die, you then become the judge at your trial. How do you find yourself - guilty or innocent?

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mieses
7 hours ago
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if it's not for my benefit then why would he conclude that it must be for the tribe? are there no other options?

all very confusing

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justanotherjoe
6 hours ago
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that part is my own words. His was only the first paragraph of my comment. I tend to make things more complicated than it needs to be, maybe.
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A4ET8a8uTh0
7 hours ago
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"This is the reason we can tell the business world." ( says one fictional CEO ) The real reason may be something else altogether, but people will accept this rationale based on that if provided. I don't think you are wrong.
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082349872349872
5 hours ago
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Pareto is well known for his 80-20 split; he's less well known for dividing bases for action into residues (sentimental bases, differing largely by whether one is conservative or progressive by inclination) and derivations (the logical rationales one gives for proposed or taken actions).

Homo sapiens or Homo praetexendo?

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fedeb95
6 hours ago
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reminds me of the famous zen tale, as I recall it:

A western professor once went to a zen master in order to study zen. The master welcomed him, and offered him a cup of tea. When tea was ready, he began to pour the liquid into the professor's cup. When the liquid reached the top of the cup, the master continued filling it, making the tea go all over the floor. The professor asked what he was doing, and the master answered: "This cup couldn't hold more tea because it was already full. If you don't first empty your mind from your prejudices, how can I teach you anything?"

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usrnm
6 hours ago
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That actually says more about the prejudices of the zen master, than the professor
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hshshshshsh
4 hours ago
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That's true. If you don't have prejudice you cannot talk about it since you don't know it.
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lupire
6 hours ago
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It's an educational metaphorical demonstration, not a prejudice.
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hshshshshsh
4 hours ago
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It doesn't really do anything. Adds one more crap belief to the list of all other crap beliefs one already have.
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mr_toad
1 hour ago
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If I knew what I was doing I’d never learn anything.
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rovingEngine
7 hours ago
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I’ve found rejecting the tendency to reduce people to narratives so incredibly important with our children.

Whether their latest choice has been probably good or probably bad, keeping those choices as something they did rather than something they are keeps the future open for them.

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nntwozz
6 hours ago
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This reminds me of a Chinese farmer story:

"The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad - because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune." ~ Alan Watts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWd6fNVZ20o

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magicalhippo
5 hours ago
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People are also multifaceted.

My dad was a pretty great dad, but when he split with my mom he did some pretty dick moves.

I have no trouble to simultaneously hold those two facets in my mind when my mom rants about him.

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hshshshshsh
7 hours ago
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Oh yeah. I had a shift one day when the "I" realised the narrative it has been living on was a bunch of cherry picked crap of emotions and memories.

Till then I used to do things that fit the narrative. A voice in head that criticises when it deviates.

Now I am free to do more things that don't fit the narrative.

It's brings much more freedom. But with narrative going away you also need to find a good replacement for the existential questions which will soon starts knocking down the door.

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optimalsolver
6 hours ago
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This is the tale of how I learned to overcome the narrative fallacy.
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lupire
6 hours ago
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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend did it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Rtvwu75K3I

The End of the Movie Starring Josh Groban Featuring rachel bloom

So this is the end of the movie Whoa whoa whoa But real life isn’t a movie No no no.

You want things to be wrapped up neatly The way that stories do.

You’re looking for answers But answers aren’t looking for you.

Because life is a gradual series of revelations That occur over a period of time It’s not some carefully crafted story It’s a mess and we’re all gonna die.

If you saw a movie that was like real life You’d be like “what the hell was that movie about?” It was really all over the place Life doesn’t make narrative sense.

Nuhuh

We tell ourselves that we’re in a movie. Whoa whoa whoa Each one of us thinks we got the starring role. Role role role.

But the truth is sometimes you’re the lead And sometimes you’re an extra Just walking by in the background Like me, Josh Groban!

Because life is a gradual series of revelations That occur over a period of time Some things might happen that seem connected But there’s not always a reason or rhyme

People aren’t characters They’re complicated And their choices don’t always make sense

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