Corporate software completely sucks. There is a greater than 70% chance you support some side of a crud app and most of your peers have some level of imposter syndrome but mask their obvious insecurity with aggressive or vanity nonsense.

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting laid off from the nonsense. Now I am a defense contractor. My peers are much older. There is an explicit path, for the most part, to release software. People are well trained and actually do real work instead of praying they can pretend to be relevant behind some framework.

Now my advice to everyone is the same: find the jobs with the highest barrier of entry. This is completely orthogonal to compensation. High barriers of entry drastically reduce the signal to noise ration in hiring.

I never considered other roles because of sunk cost fallacy. Developing an interest from a kid, going to school and college for 6+ years. With post-graduate unemployment lengthening by the day, I spiralled further.

I doomscrolled online, seeing others in similar situations get lambasted, and internalized how worthless I was, that I wasn't trying hard enough, and didn't have what it took to make it. Yet I did all I could and knew, put all of myself out there - so what was left?

Conversely, if I gave up, I was weak. If I worked in any other industry, that stat would come up about how "being underemployed in another field would lock you out of the industry for good." - I'd be considered stale bread.

My life's work would've been for nothing, so I handcuffed myself to joining the industry, and that's how months became a year, a year became two years without finding employment.

Some treatment is despicable. In the very first interview I had, I was laughed at. I was socially inept then, but that still didn't warrant mockery. Dehumanizing tests where I was observed silently, like a hawk. Months of waiting, after 4 rounds, only to be ghosted. Literally being rated and told I'm a "2" to my face by an interviewer.

When I finally decided to give up on my life's ambition and applied for a retail job, I got an interview within a day and was hired the next. I was able to learn quickly and get promoted to a lead within 3 months.

I worked with so many good people, and even if some customers and severe understaffing suck, finally finding a place where I feel valued saved me from offing myself.

Obviously, there's a lower barrier to entry. But ironically, I was always fed the notion that these were "low skill" jobs where I'd be miserable and abused. That's not what happened - it's the tech industry that drove me to want to die every day for years, even a self-inflicted head injury. And it's in retail where I developed myself further than ever, even with the bad aspects.

With my passion killed before even starting, I cannot imagine how I'd feel actually working. I'm aware it's more "who you work with," but with 8/10 interactions going poorly, and trauma from just thinking about it, I decided the industry's not worth the gamble for me.

I became interested in software as a means to solve my problems. That was why I started. But I realized I can still achieve what I want without prospects of a career ruining what I once cared for. Now, I get my fill through volunteering for nonprofit organizations and building my own ideas.

Looking for a new job, I found some roles that interested me. Deckhand, working on a boat. Car mechanic.

Some offered training with no experience, and seemed to pay decently, if not equivalently to entry-level tech, without the judgment and hoops. I've found interest in these more physical jobs, as they keep me healthy too.

Long story short - I think it's best to do what's best for yourself, within possibility. Whether that's continuing to explore software engineering in another light (Nonprofits, maybe? https://techjobsforgood.com/), or a whole new field. Life's too short to live proving oneself to someone else who doesn't even know you.

I've found that common online discourse tends to convince one to ignore problems and put up with abuse, just because someone else has it worse and "giving up" is weak. But screw what others may think about "privilege" - overwork is an issue... among many others, regardless of relativistic betterness. "Giving up" on the mainstream idea of success actually might've been the best thing to achieve what I wanted. Do you still like tech as a passion? Is there anything you've looked into that might interest you?