At night, we run the dishwasher. In the morning, we completely unload it. Empty dishwasher = ready to be used again.
That’s it.
No piles. No guessing whose turn it is. No dishwasher-as-storage. And surprisingly… way fewer fights.
Note before following this system we were washing by hand or bulk load and unload from dishwasher.
Don't keep score. If you're there and there's dishes, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. It'll take a few minutes and your partner will be grateful.
If you insist on keeping score, aim for something like 80% of the time.
Here's why I rinse my dishes: it keeps the dishwasher trap cleaner and I get less build up in the dishwasher drain lines, so I have less maintenance to do. The dishes come out clean, anyway.
Edit: It’s true for modern dishwashers. I can’t believe I spent time looking into this. The recommendation is still to scrape food off to prevent the aforementioned issues.
You still want to scrape of loose food, of course, or yes you'll get a dirty filter faster.
Now it gets loaded haphazardly throughout the day, run at night, and emptied the next morning.
It really, really offends my sensibilities. Stuff is in the "wrong" place. We are using a lot more detergent. I assume we are using a lot more energy and water.
I haven't had any dishwasher-related fights with my wife and daughter since we started this new protocol. I guess that's a win.
What I've learned from visiting my own parents is, you can alleviate the energy concern, if you (1) get solar panels and (2) ban your spouse from running the dishwasher at night :P
Starting the washer generally falls to me, and wile I will shift items to fit as much in as possible, what I mostly fix are things like: placing a large item where the rotor will hit it, or cutlery with the handles up in the basket which can actually stop the bottom rotor spinning if a forks' prongs point through the bottom.
I consider it some of my best podcast listening time. Somehow I’m more tuned in when doing house chores vs. trying to just sit and listen, or while walking outside where I have to pay attention to traffic when crossing the street and such.