Take a break for a few months to recalibrate what you want from life. Tech will still be here when you’re ready again. Go travel, use your physical body to walk and hike and lift, have a couple of flings, go to a bar at noon, work a few temp jobs, apply minimalism in your life, learn about something you like, etc.

I'm in a similar situation, thinking about a paycut or sabbattical just to do something different.

I think it's key to think about what makes you happy and interested in your work, and then find a way to map from your current position to a new position where you can do more of that.

If you're ever unsure or worried about making a move, remember that life is fluid, things change, doors open and close all the time. Taking a step forward into the unknown will light the path to the next step, but taking that first step requires accepting some uncertainty and trusting it will work out anyway.

I left technology about a decade ago to join the Military. It was an adjustment, but honestly was the greatest job I've ever had. Compared to tech where everything seemed high stress and had terrible work life balance, my military career was like playing on easy mode. Failure was impossible, no one wanted to stay a minute longer than they had to and everything was already on fire so putting it out was never really that urgent. It sounds crazy but I loved it. Now I am refreshed and pivoting back to tech with a fully funded Master's degree.

I'm in a similar boat to you, and it's made me think a lot more about happiness and, I think this is something we may not think too much about, how our life affects our receptiveness to happiness. I'll try to explain what's helped me, and hopefully it can help you too.

There's that old phrase that happiness is a journey, not a destination. It's a state of being, a fleeting emotion. We each have our own unique flavor of happiness, but modern life is about efficiency, reproducible results, one-size fits all. It's led us to seek happiness from external sources like consumption and entertainment, that happiness is our every waking desire being met immediately. We've commodified happiness in these externalities.

What's helped me is to view my life as a garden, crafted to grow what makes me happy. Thoughtfulness, constant learning, whimsy, and slowness are some of the aspects of life that make me happy. These aren't things I do, not something I can buy, these are aspects that I find bring more happiness into my life.

Now, it's my duty to nurture these aspects of life that bring me happiness. I nurture thoughtfulness by protecting time for me to think uninterrupted and reducing compulsivity to respond to everything. I nurture constant learning by ensuring my learning is fueled by curiosity, not this anxiety of self-improvement, and that growth is expansive, not corrective. I nurture whimsy by being a little unnecessary and slightly impractical (hand-writing in a journal rather than in an app, taking small walks through a new place, not focusing on efficiency in everything). And I nurture slowness by designing friction into my life. Using analog tools, longer timelines, giving myself space to breathe through things. I schedule in slowness otherwise it gets crowded out by everything else going on.

I think you may enjoy taking some time to think about what aspects of life you appreciate and bring you happiness, find out how to nurture those aspects, and then craft your life around that. It could shed some light or help bring into perspective what your next steps should be.

Teaching is a very fulfilling profession. Organising knowledge and developing learning material on topics you care about is creative and intellectually stimulating, and connecting with your learners gives it a human component that is often missing in dev roles. Some teaching jobs are even relatively well-paid...

If you want to try something totally different, check if you have a local volunteer fire department looking for new recruits. I know a few people who eventually transitioned from tech and made it into their full-time career. I think part of the draw is you show up, solve a problem, leave and feel good about it.

What would it take for you to feel interested in work? I think a lot of people dont really feel interested in their work FWIW.

Have you worked other jobs? Just curious if you're familiar with all the excellent working conditions associated with being a dev or knowledge worker. Doesnt mean you have to be a software dev but

Remote work possible, no physical constraints like (work has been shoved into my space and I have to figure out where to put it before I can continue working, kitchen, warehouse, etc.), no real injury risk, no physical exhaustion, not simply being there to react to customers literally every second of a shift, being able to manage your own time, not having your schedule posted a week at a time with zero control, little to no dress code, more likely that you can take some vacation or sick time and you dont come back to a complete mess you have to clean up before you can be productive, ability to take a break without asking permission.

I could go on-and-on.

I see stuff about becoming a teacher and it just seems insane to me. If people want to do that then great but do not be naive about what some of these other jobs entail.

This framing has been helpful for me:

Your workday isn’t a monolith; it is a series of tiny tasks. Try deconstructing your job to identify intrinsic motivation.

Which micro-tasks do you look forward to? Which raise questions you think about and work on in your free time?

Which tasks do you avoid, put off, or find immediately draining?

If you can’t identify interesting tasks, you are likely looking at too high a level of abstraction. Break “working with clients” down until you find the specific unit of work (e.g., “debugging edge cases” vs. “proofreading emails”) that sparks interest.

After sorting tasks into intrinsically motivating or not, look for a role that involves about 20% more time on the interesting micro-tasks and 20% less on the boring ones. If you do this every few years, you drift toward a career you enjoy without needing a radical “reset.”

This approach led me down an unexpected path: law firm attorney -> government attorney -> regulatory consultant -> small-business operator. Now, I am looking at moving to a role that involves at least 20% more time on software development (intrinsically interesting to me) and 20% less time chasing unreliable people (particularly draining to me). I never set out to change my “identity,” but focusing on the micro-tasks I actually enjoy has allowed me to engineer a career I enjoy on a day-to-day basis.

Just my two cents: don't chase happiness through work. It rarely works out that way. Work to live, don't live to work. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but give it a try and see how it feels.

If you’ve got 30 minutes, I recommend checking out the first half of this podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-detach-from-wor...

I've burned out in the past, and while it was mostly related to my personal life it ended up spilling over to work too, even though the job was great. I felt like I needed to get away from software and took a sabbatical, during which for the first 3 months I couldn't even think about code. I was climbing, hiking, reading, etc.

Thought I wouldn't come back for a sec. Then gradually the spark came back, I built a side project here, side project there, and ended up taking a position that paid a lot less but where the first few months I was just getting the house in order and knew exactly what to do (i.e. it wasn't challenging or at the edge of my skillset). Basically they had a mess going on and I was hired to fix it and everything was so clear to me that it just flowed. Gradually I got excited, started taking on ambitious projects inside the company that did challenge me and teach me stuff, and now I've quit to start my own company.

Basically I'm just one data point but at least for me: a) the sabbatical really helped b) I thought it'd be impossible to come back, that I'd be rusty etc but as long as you do it gradually it usually turns out ok (you have 10 years of experience in SV so you'll be fine). c) if the spark doesn't come back well then probably you've found yourself happy doing something else and that's just as good.

I went through the exact same thing as you, and I needed some time to explore different ways of living. I tried being a drone pilot, a kayak guide, and a paddleboard instructor and learned a lot in the process.

After those forays I designed and built a trailered coffee from scratch and now I run it on a public park that overlooks the ocean.

I am more fulfilled than ever, I can pay my bills, and I get to do WAY more "real" engineering than the bureaucracy of my past life at FAANG ever allowed for.

For a few years I switched to supporting medical research, which made me feel good. The tech BS sadly penetrated there after a few years too which ended that for me.

Why are you asking HN? Do you have anyone you know in your personal life you can talk to? Family or friends? Hopefully someone you know well can give you some honest feedback and help you figure out what would be a better fit for you. I don't see how a bunch of strangers on HN could possibly help seeing as they know nothing about you and totally lack context.

This very closely resembles my own experience, right down to the timeline.

I don't have an answer, but just seeing this thread has been cathartic for me.

Some of the options I'm considering (all speculative):

- It's okay to be a "hired gun" and switch companies every few years just to ensure you stay interested. Some people's minds are stimulated by novelty and learning; that's not a bad thing! In fact some of the engineers I most respect work as consultants not traditional employees.

- Try working at a more "stodgy" company. Your average Fortune 500 employs more developers than most unicorns and is probably a decade behind the curve in terms of technology-- maybe you can go to one of those, take it easy, and be a hero.

- If it's an option financially, "hire yourself" for a few months to go do a passion project-- hobbyist app? major OSS improvement? creative endeavor?-- and see how it feels.

If you want to use your hands and collaborate with humans a lot in person, the trades seem to be quite exciting right now. Salaries are also good — A good plumber in our area makes nearly $800/hr, and that's not touching what the datacenter plumbing folks are making.

I spent a couple of weeks working on the line in a restaurant over the break. It was the exact opposite of my tech job and obviously doesn't pay very well, but could be a good thing to try for a while and see how your brain changes

I spent a couple years doing physical stuff professionally.

Pro audio system design and install, commercial interior design and fabrication, event production.

These pulled from skills I learned from hobbies I did to get away from programming.

I kept myself relevant by making programming the hobby I did to get away from physical work. After a couple years I got the professional programming bug back.

You definitely have other interests that can cross over into an alternate profession. And if you don't, picking up creative hobbies definitely contributes to work life balance and might prevent you from going to an extreme in the first place.

Combine what you know with development and apply it to art. There's a lot of magic and opportunities at the intersection of two major domains. Artists would love to know how to use programming to bring their ideas to life. Programmer would love to come up with creative artistic ideas, but they are limited to the world they know - code.

If you become medium/ok at both domains, you become a bit of a renaissance person, and hopefully excited to work on ideas and projects that bring you much joy.

Edit: Replace Art with whatever second domain might interest you.

Look for IT positions in small/medium-sized companies doing other things than creating products for other startups,or similar. You'll be solving real problems for people who are experiencing them, and most important thing to look out for is what the IT culture is beforehand, and how the rest of the company treats them. If you manage to find something where all of those are OK, they're a dream for a programmer, as you can solve problems the way you see fit, as long as you actually solve the real problems.

I worked in a high paying tech job for about 12 years and got burnt out from it in 2022. Decided to quit and thru-hike the Pacific Crest Trail in 2023 which turned out to be life changing and very rewarding. My old job said I could return to it once I got back from the hike. When I got back they said they were doing cuts and my job was cut. Old me would have spiraled, new me decided to hike the Appalachian Trail. I got back from the AT and took my time finding a job. I was in no rush. After considering finding another field of work I decided to stick with my skills but rather than a cutting edge tech stack I found a job working with a University in their marketing and communications department where I manage their web properties. Its so much easier and a much slower pace. Its not as high paying as my past job, but I think with that pay cut, my responsibilities and stress level were also cut. Hiking those two trails and living in the forest for six months out of the year for two years opened my mind up to so many new things and found that you really don't need much to live a happy, rewarding life.

Yep, I have a mate who left tech to "go dig holes" (civil construction). He's now fit and happy, earns about half of what he did and is done with work by 1-2pm most days.

There are a billions of options out there and you only get one life. Go try them, or even try not working. You don't have yo have a job if you don't want to. It's your life.

Volunteer at a local animal sanctuary to spend time with non-human individuals. It is refreshing, meaningful and also fulfilling.

When I reached this point, I left to start my own company. Build something that would actually be mine.

Though obviously that's easier said than done.

I was in the same boat around the 10 year mark as well. I started a t-shirt business on the side. It took a while but after a few years made enough to live off of.

Eventually I came back to tech as a contractor/consultant and like it so much more. My passion for development and engineering is much higher now.

Yeah, I know three - one transitioned to teaching, another to being a paramedic, and the last to social work.

On the other side I also know a teacher who switched to cyber security for the money after he started a family.

You have to know yourself and what motivates you to know if you'll find things more meaningful elsewhere.

You need to be more specific. You don't like tech companies, you don't like staring at computers all day, you don't like bureaucracy, etc.? List all the things you don't like, ideally with an intensity rating.

I’m in a similar situation. I decided after a decade to quit my job and take some time off. I might work on my own company or switch careers entirely. I’ve thought about using the time by going back to school for networking.

What about it has burnt you out? That should direct where you go next

I often dream about being a carpenter, a park ranger, or a truck driver. But it feels like it's too late, and my family would suffer from the lack of funds as I transition and learn.

Off-grid lifestyle sure is starting more appealing by the day

I can't say what you should do long-term, but in the mean-time; go hit the gym more. It really does help out.

Take an inventory of what you value & what you want from work. Impossible to give advice without knowing that

Where is the sense of dread coming from?

If I was in that position with high NW, I'd quit and invest for a living (trend trade, not day trade)

Wherever you go, there you are.

Have you tried psych eval for ADHD?

Learn from Sisyphus to find joy in what you are doing. Even monotonous jobs can be tremendously fulfilling. Be grateful you have a good job that is well regarded.

Conquering your malaise will allow you to find joy in whatever you are doing.

The real quest is internal.

go away for a while. 6 months. year. Whatever. Let the sliding car find its trajectory, then decide which way to turn the wheel. Or abandon the car..

here my answer on similar question from ~year ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42500960 "(like, which month is now?).. outside-hamster-wheel."

i am at opposite problem of yours - i still love programming - and "growing" programmers/persons - but seems noone wants that anymore. So.. may have to find something else out of my n-th neglected hobbies..

and yes, have fun. It's all nonsense without that

How about pottery?

I did engineering for 7 years and then burned out of that and then did tech management for another 8. I’m all burnt out of that as well and honestly didn’t enjoy the last 15 years. I’ve been looking, there’s nothing even remotely close to the pay in other industries. My specification were to be able to work mostly alone and work hard for a low six figures but I can’t find a single thing that fits that bill.

I do know a guy in Florida that left tech to take people on manatee tours. He says he works 5-6 hours a day and makes more than $100k a year. I went on one of his tours, it’s a nice easy job, paddling for 2-3 2 hour sessions per day in nice warm weather.

Take a sabbatical if you can afford it and do random things. I'm in the US, so some of the things I've done - spent months through-hiking the Appalachian Trail, cave diving, camping, whitewater kayaking up and down the east coast. I needed another output and to put something besides work first. Work will always be there, and when I returned I found just working with other people more pleasant/rewarding.

I’m still on the fence of buying a large cargo van like a Sprinter and outfitting it to be a one-man ‘expeditor’ cargo carrier. Travel the country hauling one-off pallets from point A to B, check the DAT boards for loads and journeys abound.

Self-realization