36yo: Career at home vs. Simple life abroad?
7 points
3 hours ago
| 5 comments
| HN
I am 36 years old, single, and currently unemployed, living with my parents in my home country. I am at a point that might define the next decade of my life. I am struggling with a choice between two paths that offer completely different types of security.

Option A: Relocating to Southern Europe (Portugal)

The Income: A low-skill remote role (Content Analysis) with night shifts (PST hours), paying ~1100 EUR. I also have some passive income to supplement this.

The Lifestyle: Living in a studio or small apartmentin in smallish Portuguese town. For around 800 EUR.

The Perspective: The move isn't about a specific career goal or a passport; it’s about the higher life standards, safety, and the stable social environment of Western Europe.

The Trade-off: I would be far from my aging parents. I would be working an unskilled job that doesn't build professional equity, potentially living in studio at 36, which might be isolating during night shifts.

Option B: Staying in my Home Country (Ankara, Turkey)

The Job & Security: A Finance/Accounting role for a SME. I own my apartment here, so I have no housing costs.

The Professional Play: Pursuing a CPA-equivalent certification. This is a 3-year commitment of internships and exams, leading to legal signing authority and the ability to open my own practice later on with adaquate experience and networks.

The Context: Turkey is facing economic instability, high inflation, and politically unsettling.

The Trade-off: While I would be near my parents and building a protected professional title, I would be staying in a high-stress, unpredictable environment.

The Financial Weight:

I have already spent roughly 10k EUR on the relocation process for Option A (visas, consultants, etc.).

The Dilemma:

One path offers a prestigious, recession-proof career in a struggling, unstable country. The other offers a simple, comfortable life with 'okay' standards in a stable country, but with no professional growth.

At 36, is it wiser to invest 3 years in a professional license to root myself, or to take the jump for a better quality of life even if the work is menial?

What would you do?

THANK YOU!

ggm
2 hours ago
[-]
These kinds of multivariate decisions are extremely hard and what decision support systems were designed to work with. Typically you construct a model with all the qualitative questions, and a process which weighs each of them against each other drives something like a weighted centroid outcome.

The problem with asking strangers is the lack of investment and consequences to decisions. So if I say Portugal it has zero context to how your emotions will cope with e.g. sudden deterioration of your parents health, or racism, or language issues. If I say turkey it's based on outsider sense of place as a visitor with no exposure to the political risk.

Decision support is part of operations research. A good oversight (obviously they push their own model but they explain a lot of the systems)

https://www.1000minds.com/decision-making/what-is-mcdm-mcda

for context I made the decision to up sticks and move to another economy in my late 20s almost 4 decades ago and have never regretted it but it does carry bitter pills, breaking of links, parental death and related family tensions, emotional turmoil. Nothing is easy, but my path was easier than yours given the same language both points of my migration journey, and a different world economy

reply
Slaboli
2 hours ago
[-]
Thank you for the perspective. You’re right that strangers lack the emotional context. I think my paralysis comes from over-optimizing the variables and ignoring the 'bitter pills' you mentioned. I am currently trying to build an MCDM model as you suggested, but I find myself biased toward weighting 'safety' vs 'career stability' differently every day. Did you find that your priorities changed once you actually arrived at your new destination, or did your initial weighting hold true over the decades?
reply
ggm
2 hours ago
[-]
My priorities changed massively, as I partnered up with a local.

My weightings definitely changed. One thing to bear in mind is that legalisms in migration often penalise age. It is possible your window to migrate is closing.

Also, your asset in Turkey may be an income stream. AirBnB?

reply
Slaboli
2 hours ago
[-]
Yeah, I receive rent from the apartment in Turkey. I also have some savings and similar income streams. They’re not amounts that make me rich, but they make me more or less comfortable. I live above average in my hometown. I worked in humanitarian aid NGOs for years, but with funding cuts, jobs are extinct.

I also want to start my own family (by finding someone first lol), so I have lots of conflicting criteria, which makes it difficult to come to a decision. Trying Portugal seems logical at first, but then again I ask myself how many years I would live with such (entry level basic) job opportunities and whether I would regret not being a CPA at age 50, for example. Thank you man!

reply
haute_cuisine
1 hour ago
[-]
It's interesting that you frame the question as what is wiser. Here is a quote from Naval about making decisions, I hope it would bring more clarity.

Decisions:

- If you can’t decide, the answer is no.

- If two equally difficult paths, choose the one more painful in the short term (pain avoidance is creating an illusion of equality).

- Choose the path that leaves you more equanimous in the long term.

Also, never outsource decision making to anyone who doesn't bear the consequences of the decision.

reply
Slaboli
19 minutes ago
[-]
My real struggle is deciding which battle is worth fighting. I need to choose the path that is painful now but will compound into greater value, stability or status in 5 years.

Is it the pain of career building (Turkey) or the pain of geographic isolation (Portugal)? Your insight forces me to ask: which pain is more likely to yield the best long-term return?

THANK YOU!

reply
taneliv
2 hours ago
[-]
Do you speak Portuguese? Are you interested in learning it? I don't know how big a role it plays in making connections and friends in Portugal, and how important those are to you. It may be also more difficult to find English (or Turkish!) speakers in smaller towns compared to big cities.

How stable is the remote role? Are you more likely to be laid off (or the company to cease operations) than turmoil in Turkey? Obviously this is also very subjective speculation, but since you don't mention it, how does it figure into your plans? How well will you be able to find other similar work in Portugal? (Or elsewhere, I would assume your relocation will offer freedom of employment across EU.)

reply
Slaboli
1 hour ago
[-]
I only speak the basics of Portuguese for now, but I’m open to learning it. I do think language plays a big role in building real connections and friendships, especially outside expat circles. In smaller towns, it’s true that finding English speakers, let alone Turkish speakers lol is extremely hard. The trade-off is that rent is dramatically cheaper. In Lisbon or Porto, even tiny studios are above 1,200 EUR, while in smaller towns I can find something decent for around 700 EUR.

The remote role offers 1,100 EUR. It’s a content analyst position for YouTube ads. I don’t see it as something I would do for year, more like a starter job to enter the market. Without Portuguese, job options are mostly limited to call centers or similar roles where Turkish and English fluency is an advantage. Salaries in Portugal are generally low even highly experienced managers earn around 2,000 EUR.

As for stability, the turmoil in Turkey doesn’t affect me directly, but indirectly it does. The general atmosphere and economic situation make things feel uncertain and heavy. The remote role itself isn’t something I see as long-term stable either, so I’m aware that I’d need a plan B and to improve my language skills to expand my options. I can only work in Portugal as I just have the temporary residence, after 5 years of stay can I start working in other EU nations. Thank you for your message!

reply
codebitdaily
1 hour ago
[-]
At 36, the 'simple life abroad' often looks like a dream, but the 'career at home' provides the leverage for future freedom. The middle ground that worked for me was focusing on 'local-first' projects that don't require high-bandwidth office politics. If you can decouple your income from a specific geography while keeping your career growth, you don't have to choose. But remember, a simple life is a state of mind—moving abroad with the same burnout mindset won't solve the core issue.
reply
Slaboli
1 hour ago
[-]
Thank you! So in my situation, would this look like getting my CPA license in Turkey and then weighing my options for geographic mobility afterward? I initially need to commit to one path, as legally (and location-wise) I’m unable to pursue both at the same time.
reply
r_sz
2 hours ago
[-]
> What would you do? For me the closeness of the family was the deciding factor, so I returned from abroad to my home country
reply
Slaboli
2 hours ago
[-]
Thank you! I appreciate the honesty. That is the one variable that haunts me. My parents are actually encouraging me to go; they think the quality of life in Europe, the experience is worth the distance, especially given our local economic instability. Also, I am currently unemployed at home, which adds a layer of 'stagnation' to the closeness.

Did you move back because you felt lonely abroad or because your family actually needed you there?

reply