I would push back on the "shared state with locks vs isolated state with message passing" framing. Both approaches model concurrency as execution that needs coordination. Switching from locks to mailboxes changes the syntax of failure, not the structure. A mailbox is still a shared mutable queue between sender and receiver, and actors still deadlock through circular messages.
I've rarely seen naked sends/receives in Erlang, you mostly go through OTP behaviors. And if you happen to use them and get stuck (without "after" clause), the fact you can just attach a console to a running system and inspect processes' states makes it much easier to debug.
Sorry but this is wrong. This is no kind of backpressure as any experienced erlang developer will tell you: properly doing backpressure is a massive pain in erlang. By default your system is almost guaranteed to break in random places under pressure that you are surprised by.
People tried to introduce threads to Node.js but there was push-back for the very reasons mentioned in this article and so we never got threads.
The JavaScript languages communities watch, nod, and go back to work.
Work on the BEAM started in the 1990s, over ten years before the first release of Node in 2009.